


My Release

by DraziQueen



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Genre: Body Horror, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraziQueen/pseuds/DraziQueen
Summary: The Creature's last moments as he ends his life.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

I hold the body of my creator in my arms, cradling him like a child, cradled in a way I never was. I wonder what it feels like to be held with a mother’s love? To be small, to have people want to protect you. Every child has that, but I never did. My childhood years were spent fending for myself with the knowledge that I was hated by all but the plants, the stars and animals.  
Yet, I did not recognise the significance of human affection so how could I miss its absence? In my innocence I was happy. My innocence.  
Oh, how I long to be as such once more. How I long to live in the forest at peace, the earth my cradle, the flowers, a mother’s lips kissing my cheek, the wind a whispering lullaby. I was not born of nature, but she adopted me as her own.  
It was only fitting that she turned from that benevolence to icy disdain. Like the prodigal son I abandoned her seeking pleasures of the flesh, committing crimes so vile the blood will never leave my soul though my hands be clean.  
Even so, she did not abandon me.  
No, she is here. No longer in the bluebells or shining water threading its way through the tapestry of the forest floor but in the raging seas and the ice flows with their edges jagged as daggers.  
Perhaps if she left me I would not feel as much despair. I would feel anger at her but anger against another is never as painful as anger at your own existence. You hate yourself then your self-worth dissolves because you are hated which only breeds more hate leading you in a fruitless circle. Where will it end? To the point where I long for the agony of flames upon my skin. To the point where I rejoice at my hideous, beastly form being reduced to ashes. In death I shall be as any other man.  
The flames sprouted from the wooden sleigh like a fungus growing from a tree. It brought back memories of that time I long for so long ago when I was innocent and saw fire for the first time. The flames and warmth drew me in, their movement so mesmerising that I imagined their touch would be a comfort but I withdrew my hand in pain. I think I cried from the pain of my singed flesh but that concern seems so petty now. My heart has been burned too many times, I tried to make friends, I received only blows, I saved a life, I was only shot. Perhaps the lead bullet will be left in the snow after I am ash, the only sign I was ever on this earth.  
I wait until the pyre is hot enough to consume us both. His face is pale and so gaunt from the toils I dragged him through. There was something else about him, it is hard to place what exact nature made it so, but I can tell the element of life is missing and unsettles me. That is what people must see when they look at me, a corpse yet moving and breathing.  
My emotions overwhelm me and all I can do is look up into the grey, comfortless sky and sob. Why can’t I go back to before? I was good! I wanted to be good! I carried so much love in my heart, love for anyone who would show an atom of kindness. I could have had that! Once more, I looked to my creator but his eyelids were stiff from death so he could never look back at me.  
“Why father?” I sobbed. “Why couldn’t you have shown me love? Why did you create me? Father!” I embrace his frozen body but it brings me no comfort.  
The fire is burning hotter now, hotter than anything I felt before. I step into it.  
The pain I feel is more intense than any I have ever felt before, but it is of my own making. It is not the blows of one who I thought of as a brother. It is my own decision, the only good decision I made in the three years of my life. More thoughts come but they are banished by the pain which grows second by second. The smoke aggravates my lungs and the haze begins to turn to black as I slowly lose consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized once it was complete that this would be a good point to finish even though it was not my original intention. If you want to read my the ending I originally wrote, please see chapter two. If not, the story would work well ending here.


	2. Chapter 2

I awake. A throbbing agony pulses up and down my body.  
No. No, no, no!  
Ignoring the pain I raise my arm and see the skin burned down until the muscle is all that can be seen. Around me are the charred remains of the sleigh and ash.  
Father. He made me too well. What secrets did the alchemists teach you?  
My memories are still the same. Stained into my brain. My heart still beats. My heart still longs for things I can never have.  
The sky is still grey and comfortless.  
I am bound to this world.  
I open my mouth and let out a rasping cry.


End file.
